So it arose this week that premier gentleman’s site for the masses ‘Pornhub’ was going to start a record label.
So it seems that yes, literally anyone can start a record label and to be honest we think its a banging idea. I like the idea of ravers getting loose in some warehouse thinking.. “Where have i heard this track before?” And then remembering in a moment of hazy self-disgust that it was indeed the soundtrack to last Sunday’s hungover wankathon in between episodes of Friends.
The promo will be just about the easiest thing ever as well. Its not like they need to bother going through Youtube channels in a desperate attempt to get views, they already have a dedicated guaranteed audience platform that is guaranteed to pull views.
Here are some tracks that we think Pornhub should have signed
Bondax – Wet Summer
Secondcity – I Enter
Mutated Forms – Wastegash
Levon Vincent – Double Jointed Sex Freak
We like this idea of Businesses expanding into the world of underground culture. The idea of one part of society being completely distorted by the hedonism of raving is quite amusing I reckon, so here’s some expansions and sync’s we would like to see in the future.
Come Down With me
I picture 4 people taking it in turns to host the grueling Saturday night afterparty, inevitably resulting in a flat full of people you don’t know or really like. Kinda like the real show then, except that contestants will be judged on their available music, what food is in their fridge and of course how easy it is to crush drugs on their coffee table
This is actually genius. So you want to go to a midweek event but you don’t get paid until Friday and you spent your last fiver on spaghetti hoops to last the weekend. Never fear, Raveday loans will provide you with the hangover kit you need to make Linda’s small talk a fucking suicidal experience at work tomorrow.
Compare The Mkat
Because you may want to get fucked, but you don’t want to get fucked over. Oleg could use his fancy web crawlers to let you the paying customer know that Terry is trying to flog you two grams of the finest Sea Salt rocks.
The Legoland Project
Just imagine a whole nightclub made of Lego. I don’t think I really need to sell the idea much more than that to be honest. Make it happen… Not in fucking Windsor though.
Letting Agents -
When letting agents are trying to sell a house or a flat, often it just sits there empty and unused. Pure waste if you ask me. These companies could be making a fast buck or two by renting the place out to promoters looking for that edgy new venue, It would be like a house party but you don’t actually have to worry about the house getting fucked and it would bring in some much needed money to the property sector.
Your Welcome Cameron.
Everyone loves a smart slinkie